Audrey 8 Months
8 years ago
...so many feelings...so many thoughts...I am going to have to come back to this...
a week later...but four months late...
I feel overwhelmed as I try in some small measure to catch up this blog to my life. It might be easier just to say, Don and I have moved. We left our home of 14 years, packed up our life's belongings, memories, and security and moved to San Jose. We left behind Hillary, Eric and Quentin, Donald, Emma and Ellie, Ellie being our newest addition! Haylie is in Provo and Andrew has left for his mission in Guatemala.
This has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I feel an emptiness and a lack of belonging. I feel I lack for purpose and a sense of motivation. Where do I go from here? What is my role in life now that I am not raising kids? What out there could offer me the fulfillment that being a mother has been? What do I do with myself? I have asked myself these questions only a hundred times and mostly with tears in my eyes.
I lay in bed pretending I am in my bed in Seattle...in my mind I pretend I am in the home I have loved and I invision what I would be doing, seeing and feeling if my life had not changed so.
Don was asked to move to the Bay area...they needed his personality and ability to make these offices profitable. He began commuting in September of last year while we waited for Andrew to graduate from high school. He would leave Monday morning and fly home Friday night. He did that for 9 months.
Andrew received his mission call and date that he would leave, so we knew that we would leave right after he did. July 21st we put Andrew on a plane for Quetzaltenango Guatemala and July 24th my house and belongings were being packed in boxes.
We have found a beautiful home in San Jose. It is very comfortable and feels warm and the spirit abide here...I am adjusting to all the newness and trying my best to make this feel like home. Each week is a little better and I feel sure, over time I will embrace this change and embrace my current life.
We are here for a reason, we prayed about this move and felt heavens hand guiding us. Time will reveal the meaning behind our move. I know that, because over the past 30 years we have felt and experienced the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father as we have been prayerful in every aspect of our lives.
What I have learned ...
if you get too comfortable its time for a change...we don't grow in the comfort zone.
I can do hard things...I've taught that truth through the past 6 years in seminary, now it's time time to walk the talk!
In alma 5:15 it says "Do you look forward with an eye of faith"...meaning, do we do something that seems to make no sense to the natural man, yet we feel it to be what we should do and just do it? I did it because I knew that in the past Heavenly Father has lead us, directed us and guided us. I knew that He has a plan for us and that plan is not in the comfort zone all the time. I knew that it was time for some personal growth...and so, I did "look forward with an eye of faith".
I have stopped crying and wishing for my past life. I am setting goals for myself and looking forward to accomplishing them. I am looking forward and welcome the experiences that will be insightful as I wonder what is our purpose here. I will keep you posted as those occurances take place and begin shaping our new lives.
One more thought...In regards to our children...I think this is a powerful example that we follow our husbands as they lead in righteousness and that we support their professional life. Also, in some ways I believe I was a crutch for them. They hung out with me, I was easy and didn't take much effort. Now they have to engage themselves in their world, make friends and depend on each other. I think that is a good thing.
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| I wanted to make Ellie a blessing dress, one that would be treasured and passed down...I love how it turned out!! I searched Etsy for a pattern that would look old fashioned and found 2 that I loved...I used both to create the dress below. I also found the fabric on Etsy..it was a little spendie...$20 a yard, but I love it!! |
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Elder Corbett...doesn't that sound AWESOME!!!! The people of Guatemala are going to love this kid!!! I will miss him terribly, but know that the next two years will change his life for good. I've been working with Hillary on a number of "projects" to send with him....I just finished these today. Fourteen shirts, fourteen different quotes, scriptures or words of wisdom. I am happy with the way they turned out, I hope they are a nice reminder of my love for him every P-day as he irons his shirts.
   
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Who doesn't love a great jacket...sometimes I think I have too many, is that possible??
I love a jacket with boyfriend jeans. Olive jackets are in almost every store...this one is from JCrew, but they can be found at Old Navy, The Gap, Forever 21 and seriously probably at your favorite store!! They come in a variety of shades, fabrics and styles.
Try on a few, what is the look you want? I actually picked this one because I wanted one that was not quite so casual. The fabric is a little heavier and the shade and sheen darker. This jacket can be worn with boyfriends, skinnies, leggings...the sky is the limit.
Jacket: JCrew
Tee: The Gap
Boyfriend jeans: The Loft (they are sized to fit your waist)
Shoes: Nordstrom Steve Maddens
Necklace: Lucky You...a gift from Melissa a dear friend, she did good right!!
I really don't want to hurt any feelings, but I have to just put this out there...ladies we are 50+,,, there are rules and guidelines for us...embrace them we are awesome!! We are about being chic, classic and stylish. These jeans are not associated with any one of those words.
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| Jeans with WHITE thick stitching... |
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| Pockets with soooo much detail.... |
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| wow, look at all those holes....OVER KILL |
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| Jeans with BLING... |
My favorite Dr. Suess poem...
Today you are you
that is truer than true
Shout aloud I am glad
to be what I am
Thank goodness I'm not
a ham or a clam
or a dusty old jar
of gooseberry jam
I am what I am
What a great thing to be
If I say so myself,
happy every day to me.
It is not uncommon in the great Northwest to wake up to rain, rain and more rain, however, that does not mean you can't look cute for a lunch date!!
Bright colors on a gloomy day will also brighten your mood and lift your spirit.
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| This awesome rain coat is from Banana Republic and the rain boots are Steve Maddens. My necklace is from Lucky You, a cute little shop in my community. Whoever said splashing in puddles is just for kids?? |
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The cargo vest is a fun Pre-Spring addition and a nice layer on a cool day.
If you search "cargo vest" on Pinterest literally dozens of different looks will show up like the picture on the left...it is so versatile, wear it with jeans, skirts or dresses.
Cyndy found this particular cargo vest at Old Navy, but there is "an army" of stores that sell them i.e. The Gap, Forever 21, H&M, JCrew...the list goes on and on. My personal thoughts on buying one...it is trendy, so don't spend a lot of money on one, for all we know it won't last for next spring.
The lip color from Bare Minerals "Call the Shots" and the bling necklace from JCrew factory is just the ticket to complete the look!
I think you can pull it off no matter your age...sometimes we have to take a leap.
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Pinterest is a great place to see what the latest trends are, especially seasonal trends. The first picture here is one of those posts...I love the clean crisp look, so did Cyndy. The second picture is what she found at Old Navy, and ALL on sale!! Looks great and comfy right?! Her great necklace is from JCrew factory outlet, again on sale.
I, however thought about digging through my closet to see what I had, the pants are Modern Skinnies from The Loft, my button up shirt is also from The Loft and my sweater is from H&M. My necklace is from a cute little store in Issaquah called Lucky You.
See whats in your closet or what piece you can buy to make this look complete for you.
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Some women in the ward have decided to start a book club. I have always wanted to do a book club, but never wanted to commit to the reading...until now. Last night we had our first meeting at my house to decide what we are going to read...It was a blast
This is what I served...
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| My famous pound cake with strawberries |
this is what we decided to read
This is what I wore...
Every one needs a best friend and when that best friend is your shopping buddy it's an added bonus! We vacation together and every year attend BYU Education Week...it is a wonderful experience and one that I look forward to and cherish!
What's really unbelievable is that we are sister in-laws and we share the same birthday. When people make comments and ask if we are sisters my response is, "sisters from different mothers"!! (of course I always say she's older, but clearly you can tell that is not true). Cyndy will be in many of my post because she is one styling' woman!!
Meet Cyndy from St. George Utah
Posted in Churn dash quilt , Ellie , Quilts , Scrumptious