Recently I have seen posts on Instagram titled...20 things about me.  I thought what a good blog prompt, so here goes...20 things about me. (not in any order of importance!)

1.  I am a gym goer...I joined my first gym when I was 35.  I had just had Andrew and wanted to get my figure back.  18 years later I have remained a faithful gym attender and now realize I go more for my mental health, than my physical health, though my physical health also is benefited.
2.  I love to quilt...I didn't know I loved to quilt until a year ago, but I find it relaxing and rewarding. I also feel connected to my grandma Murray who was a quilter...I feel it is part of my heritage.
3.  My greatest joy and fulfillment above all else has been being a mom.  I have been blessed with the most amazing children!!  
4.  I have been married for 30 years this week to a man who has exceeded all my dreams as a young girl...again I have been blessed beyond measure!!
5.  Pet peeve ...people who are late to things...do they think their time is more valuable than others??
6.  wow, this is actually hard to come up with so many things!  When I was a senior in high school I was nominated to run for Sadie Hawkins Queen.  We had to participate  in competitions...one of those was milking a goat.  I actually won that event.
7.  I am finishing up my 7th year of teaching early morning seminary...I am tired!
8.   I feel like I am trying to find myself...like what should I be doing that is meaningful?  Now that my children are grown...what do I do with myself??
9.  This year has been a year of big changes...Don and I moved to San Jose and we are empty nesters. Andrew has left to serve a mission for our church and I could not be more proud of him!!  I find myself missing my children deeply!!
10.  I have the most perfect and beautiful kitchen in this new home...I wish I liked to cook!!  I like the idea of it, but in reality...I just don't like it.
11.  One of my "empty nesting" projects is to work on my family search!
12.  My favorite show is Downton Abbey
13.  I look at facebook just to stalk people and see what their life is all about
14.  My favorite app is Instagram...another way to stalk people, but it makes me happy
15.  dang 5 more...my next favorite show is called, "Fixer Upper"...its a show about remodeling and the husband and wife are not only talented and totally my style, but they are kind and loving to each other.
16.  My favorite "get away" place is Hawaii, sitting in a cabana reading a book and soaking in the sun
17.  I am a Mormon and always wonder what I did in the pre-earth life to be so blessed!!
18.  I want to write a book...a children's book I think...I need a topic, that's my problem!  Is it  a dream or am I being prompted?? 
19.  One of my quilt goals is to leave a legacy quilt for each of my children.
20.  last one...a song that I put on repeat is "Be Still My Soul" by David Archetula  

...so many feelings...so many thoughts...I am going to have to come back to this...

a week later...but four months late...

I feel overwhelmed as I try in some small measure to catch up this blog to my life.  It might be easier just to say, Don and I have moved.  We left our home of 14 years, packed up our life's belongings, memories, and security and moved to San Jose.  We left behind Hillary, Eric and Quentin, Donald, Emma and Ellie, Ellie being our newest addition!  Haylie is in Provo and Andrew has left for his mission in Guatemala.
This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.  I feel an emptiness and a lack of belonging.  I feel I lack for purpose and a sense of motivation.  Where do I go from here? What is my role in life now that I am not raising kids?  What out there could offer me the fulfillment that being a mother has been?  What do I do with myself?  I have asked myself these questions only a hundred times and mostly with tears in my eyes.  
I lay in bed pretending I am in my bed in Seattle...in my mind I pretend I am in the home I have  loved and I invision what I would be doing, seeing and feeling if my life had not changed so.

Don was asked to move to the Bay area...they needed his personality and ability to make these offices profitable.  He began commuting in September of last year while we waited for Andrew to graduate from high school.  He would leave Monday morning and fly home Friday night.  He did that for 9 months.

Andrew received  his mission call and date that he would leave, so we knew that we would leave right after he did.  July 21st we put Andrew on a plane for Quetzaltenango Guatemala and July 24th my house and belongings were being packed in boxes.

We have found a beautiful home in San Jose.  It is very comfortable and feels warm and the spirit abide here...I am adjusting to all the newness and trying my best to make this feel like home.  Each week is a little better and I feel sure, over time I will embrace this change and embrace my current life.  

We are here for a reason, we prayed about this move and felt heavens hand guiding us.  Time will reveal the meaning behind our move.  I know that, because over the past 30 years we have felt and experienced the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father as we have been prayerful in every aspect of our lives.  

What I have learned ...
if you get too comfortable its time for a change...we don't grow in the comfort zone.